why...

it's not easy for me either

life's not always

such a fun ride

sometimes it's all

i can do

to pick up right foot

let foot right

and keep on moving

i've found the end of

the infamous rope

and i've tested God

to just let me fall

i've run wild

both eyes closed

and tempted

the hand that holds me

to let me crash down

i've been in the

darkest nights

paralyzed in hate

too

i've thought those thoughts

that have haunted you

praying please just

let me go

don't want to stay here anymore

i've seen love and hate, fear and peace all collide

praying for grace

again and again

and i've cried for faith

at the foot of a cross

and looked up to dark skies

questions that make it all seem

too unbelievable to believe

i've

wondered

why

i've tried and tried

wrestling just like jacob

and it's not easy

and somehow in this

uncertain place

there's something here

worth living for

i'm held in a

steady grip

sometimes i don't know why

but i'm held

still breathing

still walking

still wrestling

and it's not easy

not easy

to just be

small

in a mighty hand

a word

in an incredible enigma

weak

in a powerful force

a breath

in eternity

not easy to bow in humility

and know

it's not about me

there's something greater than me

leading me here

holding me here

keeping me

it's not easy

not knowing why

©2007 by Brittany Mayer