Pausing today to reflect on the many gifts we been given...
While I was in Africa I was overwhelmed with the first bold impression of Lack. Children half-dressed and dirty scattered like trash in the streets, blocks of unfinished buildings, peddlers shouting for "mzungu money" with dehydrated babies wrapped around their back, understaffed medical clinics filled to overflowing with sick patients, stagnant water where cows graze used for drinking water...
Setting down the sweet wine of the United States to see and be part of a world with so little was sobering.
I realized how much I had taken for granted.
It is so easy to live life here in the US in the fast-lane, isn't it? Wake up, shower, eat breakfast, read the paper, work, eat, work, drive home, go to the gym, eat, watch TV, go to sleep, repeat. Repeat. Repeat. Habitual expectation. We rarely pause to take a good look at this life we are living.
In Uganda, in spite of a backdrop of lack, the people live life more grateful and thankful than a culture overflowing with much. The small things- a new shirt, a shelter, one dollar, health, clean rain water- bring forth unexpected thanksgiving.
Today we have the opportunity to pause, take a good look at this life and realize the gifts we have been given.
May your day be filled with thanksgiving...
The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:
he leadeth me beside the still waters.
He restoreth my soul:
he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness
for his name's sake.
Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I will fear no evil:
for thou art with me;
thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:
thou anointest my head with oil;
my cup runneth over.
Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.
Psalm 23
Brittany
Thursday, November 23, 2006
Monday, November 20, 2006
copper and gold...
Got this penny here in my hand
It’ll buy me this world
They say
Hold on tight, don’t let go
Fight for the stuff it’ll bring
In this penny put your trust
Dream the rich dream
They say
It’ll buy me this world
In the alley, the slums, the street
He’s there
With the less-than-they’s
He’s a fool
They say
If he really did
Forfeit all to
Stoop down to them-
The unnatural
Surrender
Heart of God in rags of a poor man
The richest portrait of love
Let go of all to love
The ones with nothing to give
Got this penny here in my hand
It’ll buy me this world
They say
Unnatural to let go
Foolish to forfeit
The world it’ll buy
I’ve seen the utmost surrender
Worth more than a penny
The heart of God
Offensively humble
Irreverently bold
This world
Is found wanting
Next to that
Rich portrait of love
Got these pennies in our hands
Clinging
Defending
Trusting
A bankrupt dream
©2006 by Brittany Mayer
Sunday, November 19, 2006
Seek Up...
SEEK UP
Dave Matthews
Sometimes I feel like I'm falling
Fall back again, fall back again,
Fall back again, fall back again
Oh, life it seems a struggle between
What we see and what we do
I'm not going to change my ways
Just to please you or appease you
Inside a crowd, five billion proud
Willing to punch it out
Right, wrong, weak, strong
Ashes to ashes all fall down
Look around about this round
About this merry-go-round around
If at all God's gaze upon us fall
It's with a mischievous grin, look at him
Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Our emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty,
We are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
Look at me in my fancy car
And my bank account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
Into my grave, God knows I'd save and save
Take a look again, take a look again,
Things we have collected
In the end they all pile up so tall
To one big nothing, one big nothing at all
Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Your emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty,
We are innocent instead
Soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
And your cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
For him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you,
The devil is not going--ha, ha
Sit awhile late at night with TV's hungry child
Big belly swelled
Well, for the price of a coke or a smoke
I could keep alive those hungy eyes
Take a look again, take a look again,
Face it all, face it all again
Well in the end it all stays very much the same
No one but us to blame
Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that our emotions can be
Wept away, kept at bay
Forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
And your cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
For him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not
Going--ha, ha
Fall back again, fall back again, fall back again...
Fall back again, fall back again, fall back again...
So we live, in part, and go on
We don't give enough
Don't leave behind your soul
Oh in the end left us behind
Protect me now
Oh lover
Don't leave me
Don't leave me alone here...
Lonely lives
Oh lonely lives
Forgive me
Don't leave me alone
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
So alone
Oh love in this pain
And when I caught you there
You swore that you were innocent
Well how's it so
When you stole all you could from me
And when the last breath was breathed
You walked to another place
To end together life was strange
Dave Matthews
Sometimes I feel like I'm falling
Fall back again, fall back again,
Fall back again, fall back again
Oh, life it seems a struggle between
What we see and what we do
I'm not going to change my ways
Just to please you or appease you
Inside a crowd, five billion proud
Willing to punch it out
Right, wrong, weak, strong
Ashes to ashes all fall down
Look around about this round
About this merry-go-round around
If at all God's gaze upon us fall
It's with a mischievous grin, look at him
Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Our emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty,
We are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
Look at me in my fancy car
And my bank account
Oh, how I wish I could take it all down
Into my grave, God knows I'd save and save
Take a look again, take a look again,
Things we have collected
In the end they all pile up so tall
To one big nothing, one big nothing at all
Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that
Your emotions can be kept at bay
Forget about being guilty,
We are innocent instead
Soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
And your cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
For him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you,
The devil is not going--ha, ha
Sit awhile late at night with TV's hungry child
Big belly swelled
Well, for the price of a coke or a smoke
I could keep alive those hungy eyes
Take a look again, take a look again,
Face it all, face it all again
Well in the end it all stays very much the same
No one but us to blame
Forget about the reasons and
The treasons we are seeking
Forget about the notion that our emotions can be
Wept away, kept at bay
Forget about being guilty, we are innocent instead
For soon we will all find our lives swept away
You seek up an emotion
And your cup is overflowing
You seek up an emotion,
Sometimes your well is dry
You seek up a big monster
For him to fight your wars for you
But when he finds his way to you, the devil's not
Going--ha, ha
Fall back again, fall back again, fall back again...
Fall back again, fall back again, fall back again...
So we live, in part, and go on
We don't give enough
Don't leave behind your soul
Oh in the end left us behind
Protect me now
Oh lover
Don't leave me
Don't leave me alone here...
Lonely lives
Oh lonely lives
Forgive me
Don't leave me alone
Forgive me
Forgive me
Forgive me
So alone
Oh love in this pain
And when I caught you there
You swore that you were innocent
Well how's it so
When you stole all you could from me
And when the last breath was breathed
You walked to another place
To end together life was strange
Sunday, November 12, 2006
a quickly moving parade...
Jokers we have become
Playing life
Day after day after day
After day-
The fool
Wondering if this
Is what it’s all about
If this game is truth
The painted face
Juggling
Contorting
Playing
The joker
Seems we have become
A quickly moving parade
The crusade
A charade
Juggling God’s breath
Careless child’s play
Wearing Sunday best
Smile
Joker
Smile
Have you seen the broken streets
The world left behind
The hungry eyes
The naked-
The unloved-
The despised-
Unworthy
The parade plays on
A harlequin's
Hymn
The joker dances
Art of contortion
Elaborate acrobatics
Grandly costumed
The rhythmic jest
Moves on
Leaving broken the streets
Hungry the eyes
Naked-
Unloved-
Despised-
The unworthy
Passed by
A quickly moving parade
The crusade
A charade
Costumed as good Samaritans
Oh jokers we have become
Juggling God's breath
In a quickly moving parade
To live truth
Will we-
On bended knees
Will we fall down
Naked
Crawl into the rain
Let the tears fall
Heavy and hard
Coloring outside of the lines
The child released
From the joker’s inhibitions
Eyes wide open
Arms outstretched
All will fall down
Will we fall down
Stigmatized
The fool
Will we
Step out of line
Lose the next step to fall to our knees
Abandoned to truth
The fallen fool
Crying out loud for
Redemption’s rain
Naked
On bended knees
Will we cry truth
Wretched and broken
Crawl into healing rain
All will fall down
Will we fall down
As a quickly moving parade
Passes by
©2006 by Brittany Mayer
Playing life
Day after day after day
After day-
The fool
Wondering if this
Is what it’s all about
If this game is truth
The painted face
Juggling
Contorting
Playing
The joker
Seems we have become
A quickly moving parade
The crusade
A charade
Juggling God’s breath
Careless child’s play
Wearing Sunday best
Smile
Joker
Smile
Have you seen the broken streets
The world left behind
The hungry eyes
The naked-
The unloved-
The despised-
Unworthy
The parade plays on
A harlequin's
Hymn
The joker dances
Art of contortion
Elaborate acrobatics
Grandly costumed
The rhythmic jest
Moves on
Leaving broken the streets
Hungry the eyes
Naked-
Unloved-
Despised-
The unworthy
Passed by
A quickly moving parade
The crusade
A charade
Costumed as good Samaritans
Oh jokers we have become
Juggling God's breath
In a quickly moving parade
To live truth
Will we-
On bended knees
Will we fall down
Naked
Crawl into the rain
Let the tears fall
Heavy and hard
Coloring outside of the lines
The child released
From the joker’s inhibitions
Eyes wide open
Arms outstretched
All will fall down
Will we fall down
Stigmatized
The fool
Will we
Step out of line
Lose the next step to fall to our knees
Abandoned to truth
The fallen fool
Crying out loud for
Redemption’s rain
Naked
On bended knees
Will we cry truth
Wretched and broken
Crawl into healing rain
All will fall down
Will we fall down
As a quickly moving parade
Passes by
©2006 by Brittany Mayer
Wednesday, November 8, 2006
apostasy...
Make him believe
Make him believe
We are his truth
Diametric shadow
Independent of its maker
Make him believe
Make him believe
A trivial contrary
Our image-
His truth
His poetry
His stories
His words
Twisting twisting
Like a crown of thorns
Bending
Breaking
The crude crowning-
Make him believe
Make him believe
We are his king
Make him believe
Make him believe
Twisting twisting-
He meant when he spoke
Poverty-
Wealth
Lowliness-
The American Dream
Heterogeneity-
Uniformity, maybe fame
Abhorrence of power-
A podium to preach
Suffering-
Comfort, health, peace
Renunciation-
Just another reference to
The American Dream
Make him believe
Make him believe
Preaching at him
Instituted apostasy
Sunday after Sunday
Maybe we can
Fool him to believe
We are his truth
Maybe we can make
The Fool
Believe
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Make him believe
We are his truth
Diametric shadow
Independent of its maker
Make him believe
Make him believe
A trivial contrary
Our image-
His truth
His poetry
His stories
His words
Twisting twisting
Like a crown of thorns
Bending
Breaking
The crude crowning-
Make him believe
Make him believe
We are his king
Make him believe
Make him believe
Twisting twisting-
He meant when he spoke
Poverty-
Wealth
Lowliness-
The American Dream
Heterogeneity-
Uniformity, maybe fame
Abhorrence of power-
A podium to preach
Suffering-
Comfort, health, peace
Renunciation-
Just another reference to
The American Dream
Make him believe
Make him believe
Preaching at him
Instituted apostasy
Sunday after Sunday
Maybe we can
Fool him to believe
We are his truth
Maybe we can make
The Fool
Believe
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Monday, November 6, 2006
Icarus...
Designed to flyStrength like an eagle
Fragile as a butterfly
Fly, fly
Free-
In a sweet world
Golden honey-
Freedom's gift
Icarus...
Strong as an eagle
Fragile as a butterfly
So strong,
forgotten how fragile...
And fly
fly fly
Free
Even the eagle falls-
Strength fails
Heavy burdened with
Freedom's gift
Icarus fell...
The fragile butterfly-
Wings dripping sweet honey
Captive-bound
Struggling to fly
Restrained in
Freedom's honey
Torn and broken
Weak and tired...
Wine sweeter than honey
You have come
To heal broken wings
Bind up the torn
Free the captive
And again will rise
Fallen Icarus...
On wings like an eagle
Designed to fly
fly fly
Free
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Friday, November 3, 2006
free bird...
She’s got us twisted
Hands tight behind our backs
Chained up and tied
In the name of
Love
Fear muting faith
In the name of love
She’s got us
Bent like a slave
Cowering at her feet
She speaks softly, sweetly-
This is what love is
Washed, purified mind –
The crucifying of wonder
And questions
And thought
The cutting of the free bird’s
Wings
Stockholm’s captives
Clinging to her feet
In the name of
Love
Death or this grave
That promises life
Fire and brimstone
Weeping and
Gnashing of teeth
Or
Emasculation, prostration
Salvation-
Clinging to her feet
In the name of
Love
The free bird still aches to fly
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Hands tight behind our backs
Chained up and tied
In the name of
Love
Fear muting faith
In the name of love
She’s got us
Bent like a slave
Cowering at her feet
She speaks softly, sweetly-
This is what love is
Washed, purified mind –
The crucifying of wonder
And questions
And thought
The cutting of the free bird’s
Wings
Stockholm’s captives
Clinging to her feet
In the name of
Love
Death or this grave
That promises life
Fire and brimstone
Weeping and
Gnashing of teeth
Or
Emasculation, prostration
Salvation-
Clinging to her feet
In the name of
Love
The free bird still aches to fly
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Stuttering Awe...
"Music should strike fire from the heart of man, and bring tears from
the eyes of woman." -Ludwig Van Beethoven
Last night was unreal. The Wiltern Theater in LA had a private benefit concert... Tim Reynolds and Dave Matthews.
I still am stumbling through feeble words attempting to convey it.
If we are designed to worship Something or Someone...
wor‧ship
1. adoring reverence or regard
Main Entry: worship
Part of Speech: noun
Definition: honoring
Synonyms: adoration, adulation, awe, beatification, benediction, chapel, church service, deification, devotion, exaltation, genuflection, glorification, glory, homage, honor, idolatry, idolization, invocation, laudation, love, offering, praise, prayer, prostration, regard, respect, reverence, rite, ritual, service, supplication, veneration, vespers
...last night revealed that innate design unique in humans.
Starting with Bartender and building unrelentingly richer and more powerful verses swimming in deep and breathtaking waves of incredible sound... The show was unbelievable, three sacred hours non-stop.
The gift of being reminded the depth to which we are able to experience that deep stirring that compels adoration, adulation, awe, worship.... is what leaves me fumbling and stuttering through weak, inadequate words.
That place of being lost and abandoned to one thing is sanctified ground.... it transcends the binding of flesh and blood and touches something uncontainable, indescribable.
It's the place that says, this is it... this is the essence of our being... this is the design we fit into.
To worship.
Saturday, October 28, 2006
even weeds are beautiful...
My little brother just came in from playing ....
dirty and roughed up
like every little boy should be after an hour outside.
He walked up to me with both of his hands tight behind his back,
"Pick a hand...." I pointed to both.
He got a huge grin on his face, his eyes sparkling with the unveiling of his secret and pulled his hands out from their hiding place....
to present me with three perfectly beautiful single-stemmed brown weeds.
Captivated.
A dozen red roses could not have done to me what theses three little hand-picked weeds did.
That's the offbeat wonder of love.
dirty and roughed up
like every little boy should be after an hour outside.
He walked up to me with both of his hands tight behind his back,
"Pick a hand...." I pointed to both.
He got a huge grin on his face, his eyes sparkling with the unveiling of his secret and pulled his hands out from their hiding place....
to present me with three perfectly beautiful single-stemmed brown weeds.
Captivated.
A dozen red roses could not have done to me what theses three little hand-picked weeds did.
That's the offbeat wonder of love.
Friday, October 27, 2006
torn veil...
In the nakedness
of a beggar
Power wrapped in
poverty
The giver
thirsty, hungry
The greatest
is the least-
Ironic deception.
And we shuffle by
Blind to the one behind the veil
‘Til a shadow
becomes
the tangible-
Healing by a double-edged sword
To worship is human
To love is of God.
Hands of mercy-
The veil is torn
In the nakedness of a beggar…
The eyes so lowly
Are the eyes
of God
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
of a beggar
Power wrapped in
poverty
The giver
thirsty, hungry
The greatest
is the least-
Ironic deception.
And we shuffle by
Blind to the one behind the veil
‘Til a shadow
becomes
the tangible-
Healing by a double-edged sword
To worship is human
To love is of God.
Hands of mercy-
The veil is torn
In the nakedness of a beggar…
The eyes so lowly
Are the eyes
of God
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
lacking more...
I thought
He was at this table
with us-
We're ever feasting
still more hungry
ever lacking.
This unkempt stranger outside
The one with only bread and wine
So simple what he is offering
the needy,
the poor,
the hungry,
the weary,
the sinners…
A taste and they are
Satisfied
Drink and are overflowing.
This banquet's prepared
for someone with
More-
More than bread
More than wine
More to bring to the feast we’ve made
More...
More...
but
Humble compared to the rich meat-
Poor next to the delicacies on
the finely crafted plates-
This stranger’s offering
the thing that is
Lacking
The bread
The wine
of mercy
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
He was at this table
with us-
We're ever feasting
still more hungry
ever lacking.
This unkempt stranger outside
The one with only bread and wine
So simple what he is offering
the needy,
the poor,
the hungry,
the weary,
the sinners…
A taste and they are
Satisfied
Drink and are overflowing.
This banquet's prepared
for someone with
More-
More than bread
More than wine
More to bring to the feast we’ve made
More...
More...
but
Humble compared to the rich meat-
Poor next to the delicacies on
the finely crafted plates-
This stranger’s offering
the thing that is
Lacking
The bread
The wine
of mercy
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Saturday, October 21, 2006
made to be...
He lived it fully
and called to follow
Made to be a people of
Love
We’ve wandered away.
Lost
Polished-
but not clean
Tickling terms
Sunday sacrifice
Words left undone
The light
into darkness
Strangers we’ve become
Far from the calling-
Made to be people of
Love.
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
and called to follow
Made to be a people of
Love
We’ve wandered away.
Lost
Polished-
but not clean
Tickling terms
Sunday sacrifice
Words left undone
The light
into darkness
Strangers we’ve become
Far from the calling-
Made to be people of
Love.
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Friday, October 20, 2006
Core...
"Servant of God. Well done; well hast thou fought
The better fight, who single hast maintained
Against revolted multitudes the cause
Of truth, in word mightier than they in arms;
And for the testimony of truth hast borne
Universal reproach, far worse to bear
Than violence; for this was all thy care
To stand approved in sight of God, though worlds
Judged thee perverse"
From Book Six John Milton's Paradise Lost
The better fight, who single hast maintained
Against revolted multitudes the cause
Of truth, in word mightier than they in arms;
And for the testimony of truth hast borne
Universal reproach, far worse to bear
Than violence; for this was all thy care
To stand approved in sight of God, though worlds
Judged thee perverse"
From Book Six John Milton's Paradise Lost
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Less Than More...
Still lacking
my cup is running over
Something's missing-
Spill this cup
into empty hands
spill over
until this cup is empty
and
follow One
who spilled himself
for the thirsty
the dirty
the empty.
My cup's been
filled
Something's missing
Spill this cup
until it's empty
Less than more-
Complete.
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
my cup is running over
Something's missing-
Spill this cup
into empty hands
spill over
until this cup is empty
and
follow One
who spilled himself
for the thirsty
the dirty
the empty.
My cup's been
filled
Something's missing
Spill this cup
until it's empty
Less than more-
Complete.
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Monday, October 9, 2006
Peace Within Reach...
TODAY...
OCTOBER 09-10...
Maybe your voice is the one that's missing...
...see link for details...
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
voice in the desert...
It's a beautiful dream beckoning
where the poor and the hungry-
fed, clothed, filled
find favor, inheritance
Where justice pours out like mighty water
we drink- and grace- our cup runs over
This beautiful dream
where righteousness-
like air
hunger and thirst satisfied
The lamb and lion together lie down-
this beautiful dream-
all swords beat into plowshares-
nations and nations together in peace
It's a beautiful dream
And the earth is covered
covered
with the glory of God-
that's the dream
a revolution
It's beckoning-
this sleeping age
is being called,
oh open your eyes!
This dream, this revolution
is at hand
It's a beautiful dream beckoning
the earth covered-
with the glory of God
A voice in the desert cries out again-
the revolution is at hand
this beautiful
revolution
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
where the poor and the hungry-
fed, clothed, filled
find favor, inheritance
Where justice pours out like mighty water
we drink- and grace- our cup runs over
This beautiful dream
where righteousness-
like air
hunger and thirst satisfied
The lamb and lion together lie down-
this beautiful dream-
all swords beat into plowshares-
nations and nations together in peace
It's a beautiful dream
And the earth is covered
covered
with the glory of God-
that's the dream
a revolution
It's beckoning-
this sleeping age
is being called,
oh open your eyes!
This dream, this revolution
is at hand
It's a beautiful dream beckoning
the earth covered-
with the glory of God
A voice in the desert cries out again-
the revolution is at hand
this beautiful
revolution
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Sunday, September 10, 2006
something...
Can you feel it?
Something's changing
There's music
and it's different
Have you seen it?
What we were
what we are
what we're becoming-
a vision of something different
Can you hear it?
Halting questions give way
to greater mystery-
questions stir for something different
Could it be...
He's the music
He's the vision
He's the great mystery
and we're seduced
beyond our will
we feel it-
we see it-
we hear it-
something's changing.
Wasn't longing
but now I feel it
wasn't listening
but now I hear it
wasn't dreaming
but now I see it
wasn't dreaming
but I woke up
Maybe you...
something's changing
something's different
can you...
can you...
something's changing
something's different
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Something's changing
There's music
and it's different
Have you seen it?
What we were
what we are
what we're becoming-
a vision of something different
Can you hear it?
Halting questions give way
to greater mystery-
questions stir for something different
Could it be...
He's the music
He's the vision
He's the great mystery
and we're seduced
beyond our will
we feel it-
we see it-
we hear it-
something's changing.
Wasn't longing
but now I feel it
wasn't listening
but now I hear it
wasn't dreaming
but now I see it
wasn't dreaming
but I woke up
Maybe you...
something's changing
something's different
can you...
can you...
something's changing
something's different
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Thursday, September 7, 2006
Seeking and Hiding...
I remember playing
as a little kid
hiding and seeking
seeking and hiding
and I'd find you-
but you couldn't find me.
Now I'm found here
like that little kid-
and I'm seeking,
God, I'm seeking
When I try to hide
you've already
found me
I hear you say
you've found me
But I'm still seeking
God, I'm seeking
I think I find you
but then you say
you've already found me
you've found me-
it's like you found me
hiding.
Maybe I found how
to hide
and wasn't really seeking.
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
as a little kid
hiding and seeking
seeking and hiding
and I'd find you-
but you couldn't find me.
Now I'm found here
like that little kid-
and I'm seeking,
God, I'm seeking
When I try to hide
you've already
found me
I hear you say
you've found me
But I'm still seeking
God, I'm seeking
I think I find you
but then you say
you've already found me
you've found me-
it's like you found me
hiding.
Maybe I found how
to hide
and wasn't really seeking.
©2006 by Brittany Hogan
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Thursday, July 20, 2006
Wednesday, July 19, 2006
More?
Hi everyone! I just posted the following photos... please let me know if you would like to see more from the six months out there, these are a very small sampling!
I hope you are enjoying summer!
I hope you are enjoying summer!
PS... Click on any image to enlarge
Monday, July 10, 2006
Life Back in America...
Thank-you all so much for your support, encouragement, prayer, humor, updates and love over the past six months... what an experience it was! I thank God for the friends and family he brought into my life... so many of you were a constant encouragement through email and posts and phone calls and care packages and prayer. THANK-YOU for being with me during this chapter of my life... I am so humbled by the kindness God has shown me through so many of you!!! I am safe back in America and back home with my amazing family. Transition was a bit difficult, more so coming back to the states then it was going to Uganda... somehow surprising. But slowly and with the support of my church and specifically Pastor John and his family I am feeling more settled. It is challenging to go from living with so little to living in such excess... from little huts and red dirt to the grandeur of the North County Fair, San Diego... or from going to sleep on the plane and waking up in front of the Westminster Abbey in London (CULTURE SHOCK at its finest!)... difficult to leave incredible friendships and relationships (LB&Keith, Sandi, BJ, Melis...) and SO tough to leave those kids that daily challenged me to LIVE and love in dependency on Christ... tough to leave that world that became such a part of me, and now to relearn to live here with the renewed mind and heart that developed there. Challenging to live fast again.
But you know, God is good. And his grace is so sweet. He has provided for me so sufficiently, so abundantly... from my precious family, to the Sales and my College group family, to you and those who have continued with me in intercession during the transition... he has gone before me and has paved the difficult steps with his grace. And I am finding now how what seemed so difficult is part of that grace of breaking and changing and making me fall more in love with Christ. That is a beautiful grace... and to see it that way I have to continue stepping in faith that his grace is there. I have not taken a step so far that has not been founded on his grace and depending on his goodness to meet me in that step... and he has been faithful.
Thank-you for continuing to walk with me through it all... I have been so appreciative of your kindness throughout the past months. You have been a piece of that sweet grace God has provided in each step. I pray that as you continue to step through the challenges and experiences of tomorrow and the next day... the next month... the year, that you will be found stepping in his grace and drawing nearer to Christ with each step.
Thank-you again so much for walking with me.
In His Grace,
Brittany
But you know, God is good. And his grace is so sweet. He has provided for me so sufficiently, so abundantly... from my precious family, to the Sales and my College group family, to you and those who have continued with me in intercession during the transition... he has gone before me and has paved the difficult steps with his grace. And I am finding now how what seemed so difficult is part of that grace of breaking and changing and making me fall more in love with Christ. That is a beautiful grace... and to see it that way I have to continue stepping in faith that his grace is there. I have not taken a step so far that has not been founded on his grace and depending on his goodness to meet me in that step... and he has been faithful.
Thank-you for continuing to walk with me through it all... I have been so appreciative of your kindness throughout the past months. You have been a piece of that sweet grace God has provided in each step. I pray that as you continue to step through the challenges and experiences of tomorrow and the next day... the next month... the year, that you will be found stepping in his grace and drawing nearer to Christ with each step.
Thank-you again so much for walking with me.
In His Grace,
Brittany
Wednesday, May 3, 2006
This kind of faith. This kind of love.
This quote rocked me. It was written by a Romanian prison guard who found fulfillment and frustration in torturing Christians...
"If we cut off their tongues and forbid the Christians speech, they love with their hands, with their feet and with their eyes. They love always and everywhere until their last respiration. Does anybody know how to take out the power of love from these stupid Christians?"
...O Lord, make in me this kind of faith, this kind of love.
"If we cut off their tongues and forbid the Christians speech, they love with their hands, with their feet and with their eyes. They love always and everywhere until their last respiration. Does anybody know how to take out the power of love from these stupid Christians?"
...O Lord, make in me this kind of faith, this kind of love.
Monday, April 24, 2006
CLINGING...
Oleota (“How are you?”) Friends! I hope your past weekend was wonderful, that you were able to slow down enough to take in the depth of the holiday.
I spent Good Friday through Easter afternoon a few feet away from the Nile really taking the time to reflect on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. Early on Friday night I sat down by the water, praying that God would make me understand the death and resurrection in a new way. I wanted the knowledge I had from growing up in the church to be renewed in deeper understanding that would impact my heart.
What is the heart of the crucifixion? What is the heart of the resurrection? Sure, the easy answer is, “the heart of Christ was to take away the sins of the world and so glorify the Father.” But personally what does that look like? How does that speak to me individually?
This is somewhat where I was sitting Friday night on the bank of the Nile. So I thought about how I view myself in relation to the cross: Do I see myself at the foot of the cross looking up at the atonement sacrifice? Do I see myself as the soldier nailing him to the wood? Do I see myself standing away from the crowd and looking on from a safe distance? Where in that picture am I?
On the bumpy and always eventful (we almost hit a goat on the way there and a cow on the way back) drive to Jinja (where the source of the Nile is found) I had finished reading through John and glanced back through my underlines in Isaiah… and as I sat beside the Nile, my mind trying to draw an image of me there at Calvary, three verses resonated:
With these verses in mind I again tried to picture myself in relation to the cross. The picture came to me of what Calvary must have looked like that Friday: Three crosses. Three condemned men. Christ there in the center… I finally saw myself there beside him… hanging on my own cross.
What?! You must be thinking, but follow me… I believe the truth of Isaiah 53:6, that I was a lamb gone astray, turned to my own way, I have known the Bible well enough to know how far my sin has separated me from God. My life story has not been perfect, plenty of ugly chapters in there. And so every time I have felt guilty or ashamed of some sin in my life I have done what I think many of us do: In realization of my depravity and convicted of what a sinner I am… I have remained in control.
Many times I have built a cross of condemnation and have thrown myself upon it. In guilt and frustration and shame I have suffered on my cross, alone. Though it has brought pain and deep feelings of remorse, in the end it only brings death.
Such a cross and such a death is only that. It is nothing more than self-made condemnation, self-made punishment and self-imposed death. There is no redemption in this death. Beyond such a cross there are only more tombs ready to swallow life and keep the criminal bound to the grave. Though it seems at the time a justified punishment that might gain freedom, the result is only more death and more bondage. There the sinner becomes a slave of Guilt, Shame, The Past, Regret…
I realized as I sat there that this kind of punishment and suffering is ultimately rooted in controlling pride and unbelief:
In this suffering I remain in control, I can do it by myself (for those who know me well you know my self-discipline… I can beat myself and tear myself apart over things I do that fall short of the glory of God). I can make myself feel the pangs of guilt and regret again and again until I feel raw inside. So in one sense I am in control when I impose this condemnation on myself- I suffer alone without needing anyone else to suffer with me, let alone for me.
On a deeper level, this self-condemnation and self-punishment mocks the sacrifice of Christ, belittles what Jesus did by boasting that alone my suffering and my death is sufficient. In unbelief my self-punishment claims that if I suffer like Christ did (not with him but like him) then I will be justified before God. Hanging on my own cross and suffering alone boldly affirms doubt… that maybe the sacrifice of Christ was not enough.
In such a way, I have many times thrown myself on my own cross and suffered alone.
But sitting beside the Nile with these thoughts pulsating, the verse from Isaiah 53 halted me. I was a blemished lamb. I had gone astray. In Hebrew law an atonement sacrifice for sins had to be unblemished and pure. This was acceptable to God to cover for sins. A blemished lamb could not atone.
But in God’s grace there was provision. Christ came as the pure, perfect lamb to atone for my sins and to do what I never could on my own. He came as the tender shepherd that takes me from my cross of condemnation and death and holds me close to his heart. He came as the good shepherd that lays down his life for his sheep, and by him my iniquity and condemning guilt was suffered and atoned for.
I could not do this alone on my own cross.
It was on my cross that the atonement sacrifice was offered. It was on my cross that God judged my sin. It was on my cross that Jesus died.
Not in clinging to my cross are my sins at atoned for, but in clinging to Christ there on my cross.
You see, the mystery of the crucifixion and resurrection is this: I could not do it, but Christ did. And only in clinging to him do I identify with his suffering and his death and his resurrection. The power and freedom over death and in life is not found in the cross, it is in Christ.
I have to let go. I have to let go of my control, my pride and my unbelief. I have to die to those things and let go. Essentially, I have to let go of my cross. And I have to allow the shepherd to come and gather me in his arms and hold me close to his heart.
In this understanding, the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus speaks in a powerfully personal way… as I sat there on the Nile this is what I wrote from the perspective of the One who laid down his life…
“I have come to set you free from the cross that condemns you and brings you death… the cross you are hanging on. The cross you cling to is too much for you. Come, come into my arms my precious lamb. Look into the eyes of your shepherd. Let me hold you close to my heart so you might understand my love for you. Come away from your cross and fall into my arms. Here I am.
Two were crucified beside me. Both suffered their just punishment. One knew that to suffer beside me is not enough.
Oh precious lamb! Don’t you see a blemished sacrifice cannot bring atonement and forgiveness?
You have suffered and died on your cross. From the grave I have gathered you in my arms. Today your cross will no longer have victory over you. Today, my precious lamb, the shepherd will lay down his life for you.
You see my precious lamb; your death is not enough…
Come into my arms, close to my heart…
And as the nails are driven into my hands, as my feet are pierced, as my body is crushed, as the thorns tear into my face… cling to me.
The cross is not the sacrifice, my precious lamb. I am. Cling to me. Cling to my death on your cross.
Cling to me in death and you will find the glory of my death. As the cross was death, I am life. Cling to me in death and you will know life. Cling to me and live. Come my precious lamb and be cleansed by my blood and my water.
My piercing, my crushing, my wounds, my life- has conquered the cross that cursed you. Cling no more to the cross, it has been defeated and has lost its power. See, it is clinging to me that the curse is broken. It is finished.
Not by the power of your suffering or by clinging to your cross… but by being held in my arms through suffering and death, in clinging to me as your Savior and Redeemer, as my blood and water cleanses you… here is the power of life. I have taken your curse. I have conquered. And I have brought you into covenant.
At Calvary, in my arms, you have been ransomed and I have betrothed you to me as my beloved bride. In righteousness and justice, love and compassion and faithfulness I have betrothed you to me. Arise my beloved! From the victory of life over death I have come for you, my bride.
I pour on you the oil of gladness! I clothe you in a pure white gown of praise! I bestow on you a crown of beauty!
I betroth you to me forever. No one will take you out of my hands.
I have overcome the depravity that separated you from my Father and one with me you have become his child. The Righteous Judge looks on you as he looks on me and you are not condemned. He calls you ‘child’. I have brought you into the covenant of the Father; the love covenant of mercy, grace and life.
From a filthy lamb gone astray, my death and my life has redeemed you and made you my precious bride, a child of the King. Now the life you live, you live in me. .
Cling to me, my precious bride and live in freedom and in life in this covenant.
Come, come cling to me.”
My heart swelled with love and praise as I saw this amazing picture of redemption. The mystery of the crucifixion and resurrection is that I could never do it. But Christ did.
In the picture of Calvary I am clinging to Christ in his death and life… as he conquers my cross.
I am praying now as I finish up this email that you will be touched to understand the death and life of Christ in such a way. By God’s grace I pray you will cling to him.
Let go of your cross and cling to the Savior.
Clinging to him,
Brittany
I spent Good Friday through Easter afternoon a few feet away from the Nile really taking the time to reflect on the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus. Early on Friday night I sat down by the water, praying that God would make me understand the death and resurrection in a new way. I wanted the knowledge I had from growing up in the church to be renewed in deeper understanding that would impact my heart.
What is the heart of the crucifixion? What is the heart of the resurrection? Sure, the easy answer is, “the heart of Christ was to take away the sins of the world and so glorify the Father.” But personally what does that look like? How does that speak to me individually?
This is somewhat where I was sitting Friday night on the bank of the Nile. So I thought about how I view myself in relation to the cross: Do I see myself at the foot of the cross looking up at the atonement sacrifice? Do I see myself as the soldier nailing him to the wood? Do I see myself standing away from the crowd and looking on from a safe distance? Where in that picture am I?
On the bumpy and always eventful (we almost hit a goat on the way there and a cow on the way back) drive to Jinja (where the source of the Nile is found) I had finished reading through John and glanced back through my underlines in Isaiah… and as I sat beside the Nile, my mind trying to draw an image of me there at Calvary, three verses resonated:
Isaiah 53:6
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd;
He gathers the lambs in his arms
And carries them close to his heart
John 10:11
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
each of us has turned to his own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
the iniquity of us all.
Isaiah 40:11
He tends his flock like a shepherd;
He gathers the lambs in his arms
And carries them close to his heart
John 10:11
I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep.
With these verses in mind I again tried to picture myself in relation to the cross. The picture came to me of what Calvary must have looked like that Friday: Three crosses. Three condemned men. Christ there in the center… I finally saw myself there beside him… hanging on my own cross.
What?! You must be thinking, but follow me… I believe the truth of Isaiah 53:6, that I was a lamb gone astray, turned to my own way, I have known the Bible well enough to know how far my sin has separated me from God. My life story has not been perfect, plenty of ugly chapters in there. And so every time I have felt guilty or ashamed of some sin in my life I have done what I think many of us do: In realization of my depravity and convicted of what a sinner I am… I have remained in control.
Many times I have built a cross of condemnation and have thrown myself upon it. In guilt and frustration and shame I have suffered on my cross, alone. Though it has brought pain and deep feelings of remorse, in the end it only brings death.
Such a cross and such a death is only that. It is nothing more than self-made condemnation, self-made punishment and self-imposed death. There is no redemption in this death. Beyond such a cross there are only more tombs ready to swallow life and keep the criminal bound to the grave. Though it seems at the time a justified punishment that might gain freedom, the result is only more death and more bondage. There the sinner becomes a slave of Guilt, Shame, The Past, Regret…
I realized as I sat there that this kind of punishment and suffering is ultimately rooted in controlling pride and unbelief:
In this suffering I remain in control, I can do it by myself (for those who know me well you know my self-discipline… I can beat myself and tear myself apart over things I do that fall short of the glory of God). I can make myself feel the pangs of guilt and regret again and again until I feel raw inside. So in one sense I am in control when I impose this condemnation on myself- I suffer alone without needing anyone else to suffer with me, let alone for me.
On a deeper level, this self-condemnation and self-punishment mocks the sacrifice of Christ, belittles what Jesus did by boasting that alone my suffering and my death is sufficient. In unbelief my self-punishment claims that if I suffer like Christ did (not with him but like him) then I will be justified before God. Hanging on my own cross and suffering alone boldly affirms doubt… that maybe the sacrifice of Christ was not enough.
In such a way, I have many times thrown myself on my own cross and suffered alone.
But sitting beside the Nile with these thoughts pulsating, the verse from Isaiah 53 halted me. I was a blemished lamb. I had gone astray. In Hebrew law an atonement sacrifice for sins had to be unblemished and pure. This was acceptable to God to cover for sins. A blemished lamb could not atone.
But in God’s grace there was provision. Christ came as the pure, perfect lamb to atone for my sins and to do what I never could on my own. He came as the tender shepherd that takes me from my cross of condemnation and death and holds me close to his heart. He came as the good shepherd that lays down his life for his sheep, and by him my iniquity and condemning guilt was suffered and atoned for.
I could not do this alone on my own cross.
It was on my cross that the atonement sacrifice was offered. It was on my cross that God judged my sin. It was on my cross that Jesus died.
Not in clinging to my cross are my sins at atoned for, but in clinging to Christ there on my cross.
You see, the mystery of the crucifixion and resurrection is this: I could not do it, but Christ did. And only in clinging to him do I identify with his suffering and his death and his resurrection. The power and freedom over death and in life is not found in the cross, it is in Christ.
I have to let go. I have to let go of my control, my pride and my unbelief. I have to die to those things and let go. Essentially, I have to let go of my cross. And I have to allow the shepherd to come and gather me in his arms and hold me close to his heart.
In this understanding, the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus speaks in a powerfully personal way… as I sat there on the Nile this is what I wrote from the perspective of the One who laid down his life…
“I have come to set you free from the cross that condemns you and brings you death… the cross you are hanging on. The cross you cling to is too much for you. Come, come into my arms my precious lamb. Look into the eyes of your shepherd. Let me hold you close to my heart so you might understand my love for you. Come away from your cross and fall into my arms. Here I am.
Two were crucified beside me. Both suffered their just punishment. One knew that to suffer beside me is not enough.
Oh precious lamb! Don’t you see a blemished sacrifice cannot bring atonement and forgiveness?
You have suffered and died on your cross. From the grave I have gathered you in my arms. Today your cross will no longer have victory over you. Today, my precious lamb, the shepherd will lay down his life for you.
You see my precious lamb; your death is not enough…
Come into my arms, close to my heart…
And as the nails are driven into my hands, as my feet are pierced, as my body is crushed, as the thorns tear into my face… cling to me.
The cross is not the sacrifice, my precious lamb. I am. Cling to me. Cling to my death on your cross.
Cling to me in death and you will find the glory of my death. As the cross was death, I am life. Cling to me in death and you will know life. Cling to me and live. Come my precious lamb and be cleansed by my blood and my water.
My piercing, my crushing, my wounds, my life- has conquered the cross that cursed you. Cling no more to the cross, it has been defeated and has lost its power. See, it is clinging to me that the curse is broken. It is finished.
Not by the power of your suffering or by clinging to your cross… but by being held in my arms through suffering and death, in clinging to me as your Savior and Redeemer, as my blood and water cleanses you… here is the power of life. I have taken your curse. I have conquered. And I have brought you into covenant.
At Calvary, in my arms, you have been ransomed and I have betrothed you to me as my beloved bride. In righteousness and justice, love and compassion and faithfulness I have betrothed you to me. Arise my beloved! From the victory of life over death I have come for you, my bride.
I pour on you the oil of gladness! I clothe you in a pure white gown of praise! I bestow on you a crown of beauty!
I betroth you to me forever. No one will take you out of my hands.
I have overcome the depravity that separated you from my Father and one with me you have become his child. The Righteous Judge looks on you as he looks on me and you are not condemned. He calls you ‘child’. I have brought you into the covenant of the Father; the love covenant of mercy, grace and life.
From a filthy lamb gone astray, my death and my life has redeemed you and made you my precious bride, a child of the King. Now the life you live, you live in me. .
Cling to me, my precious bride and live in freedom and in life in this covenant.
Come, come cling to me.”
My heart swelled with love and praise as I saw this amazing picture of redemption. The mystery of the crucifixion and resurrection is that I could never do it. But Christ did.
In the picture of Calvary I am clinging to Christ in his death and life… as he conquers my cross.
I am praying now as I finish up this email that you will be touched to understand the death and life of Christ in such a way. By God’s grace I pray you will cling to him.
Let go of your cross and cling to the Savior.
Clinging to him,
Brittany
Friday, April 21, 2006
Prostitute to Bride
Thought I would publish this on the main page because the question presents a great opportunity to display the awesome redemptive love of Christ:
4:39 PM
Delete
Anonymous said...
are u a whore?
1:02 PM
Delete
Brittany Hogan said...
Ok, at first I was a little offended, maybe a little hurt... but honestly, I appreciate the question because it gives me a sweet opportunity.
I read Hosea last month and found myself weeping over the passages. The symbolism of Israel as a prostitute/ Gomer and God's love as displayed by Hosea is incredible and cut into my heart.
In the world's definition I have never been a prostitute or whore, but in the defining words of Hosea I have. Many times I have turned away from Christ and "chased after other lovers", many times God must have said, "but me she forgot."
By Christ's cleansing blood I have been brought into covenant with him as a bride to the groom,Hosea 1:16 says, "In that day you will call me husband." So, essentially, breaking this covenant labels me a whore. Beyond that heavy label there is beauty in the ashes.
Still God desires me even seeing my unfaithfulness, still he leads me to him and speaks tenderly. He loves selflessly and abundantly.
Hosea 14:4 says it this way, "I will heal their waywardness and love them freely..."
Christ's sacrifice has cleansed me, healed me and made me pure. Once a prostitute I have been made the bride of Christ.
Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy..."
What sweet and awesome redemption.
4:14 AM
4:39 PM
Delete
Anonymous said...
are u a whore?
1:02 PM
Delete
Brittany Hogan said...
Ok, at first I was a little offended, maybe a little hurt... but honestly, I appreciate the question because it gives me a sweet opportunity.
I read Hosea last month and found myself weeping over the passages. The symbolism of Israel as a prostitute/ Gomer and God's love as displayed by Hosea is incredible and cut into my heart.
In the world's definition I have never been a prostitute or whore, but in the defining words of Hosea I have. Many times I have turned away from Christ and "chased after other lovers", many times God must have said, "but me she forgot."
By Christ's cleansing blood I have been brought into covenant with him as a bride to the groom,Hosea 1:16 says, "In that day you will call me husband." So, essentially, breaking this covenant labels me a whore. Beyond that heavy label there is beauty in the ashes.
Still God desires me even seeing my unfaithfulness, still he leads me to him and speaks tenderly. He loves selflessly and abundantly.
Hosea 14:4 says it this way, "I will heal their waywardness and love them freely..."
Christ's sacrifice has cleansed me, healed me and made me pure. Once a prostitute I have been made the bride of Christ.
Ephesians 5:25, "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy..."
What sweet and awesome redemption.
4:14 AM
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Dependent...
I have just a couple minutes but I want to thank-you so much for your prayers and continued email. God is doing such unexpected work in me and I am learning every day that the most beautiful place I can be is the place of utter dependency on God. Wherever that place is I want to be there. Right now it is here at New Hope. Daily I am reminded of my dependency on God; that through no strength of my own am I surviving... by his grace I am thriving.
The ministry here is exciting, exhausting, uplifting, humbling, frustrating... it takes all of me and then when I have nothing left demands more.
I Kings 19:7 has become so personally powerful to me here. In the passage Elijah tells God that he has had enough, he is tired and drained and wants to give up. He has no strength to carry on. In response to that God sends an angel of the Lord to Elijah and the angel says, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." In his perfect providence God brought Elijah to the end of himself so that he would be forced into utter dependency on God alone. And at that death of self, God provided the strength to go on.
Here he has provided me with a tough journey that in myself is too much... but in his grace he has also provided such strength and provision... and I see it most when I am at my lowest points (with the kids, the ministry, my selfishness, God breaking me...) there he touches me and says, yes, it is too much for you... go on. And with no strength of my own his strength raises me up to keep on going.
I hope you find yourself in this strength. It is the most beautiful humiliation to be so dependent on God.
The ministry here is exciting, exhausting, uplifting, humbling, frustrating... it takes all of me and then when I have nothing left demands more.
I Kings 19:7 has become so personally powerful to me here. In the passage Elijah tells God that he has had enough, he is tired and drained and wants to give up. He has no strength to carry on. In response to that God sends an angel of the Lord to Elijah and the angel says, "Get up and eat, for the journey is too much for you." In his perfect providence God brought Elijah to the end of himself so that he would be forced into utter dependency on God alone. And at that death of self, God provided the strength to go on.
Here he has provided me with a tough journey that in myself is too much... but in his grace he has also provided such strength and provision... and I see it most when I am at my lowest points (with the kids, the ministry, my selfishness, God breaking me...) there he touches me and says, yes, it is too much for you... go on. And with no strength of my own his strength raises me up to keep on going.
I hope you find yourself in this strength. It is the most beautiful humiliation to be so dependent on God.
Thank-you...
To all who stood with me in prayer throughout the end of last month's elections, thank-you. Forty-eight hours after elections ended I was walking along the outskirts of New Hope along a common pathway and could hear shouts and screams coming from neighboring villages. The sound was tremendous and I was unsure of whether it was good or not. It became apparent as little children ran by with huge smiles on their faces that whatever was going on was a good thing. The older guys that ran by whistling and yelling were waving their hands and shouting, "Museveni!"
It was a strange feeling that I experienced in those first initial moments taking in the shouts and screams and whistling that signaled Museveni was again president of Uganda. Part of me sank, part of me felt troubled... The Bible says that it is God who appoints leaders and takes them down... nothing is outside of God's hand. Museveni has been elected for a purpose beyond what I can see and I trust that God has appointed this time and leadership for Uganda in his good and perfect wisdom.
Later that night my roommate and I stood under the HUGE Uganda sky in awe as the sky lit up with bright pink and white streaks of lightning... the whole sky would light up and then sink into dark black. The thunder came in in cracks that we could feel... it was amazing.
As we stood there my mind went to the familiar words Psalm 18- abbreviated- that we had prayed for weeks leading up to the election:
"...In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears...
He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his
canopy around him-
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence
clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High
resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the
enemies,
great bolts of lightning and routed them...
He reached down from on high and took hold of me,
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for
me...
You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great...
The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock!...
Therefore I will praise you among the
nations, O Lord...
he shows unfailing kindness to his
anointed,
to David and his descendants forever."
The God we serve is a great God who is as alive and mighty today as he was when David wrote these powerful words. While I stood under the raging sky with these words pouring from my heart I was captivated by the thought of God coming through the flashing sky, canopy of dark surrounding him, rain clouds at his feet and reaching down to me. Stooping down in all his greatness to hold me. He is intimately aware of my fears, my weaknesses, my enemies... but his awesome power is so much greater than any of these.
He has proven himself victorious and gives me that shield of victory, his hand of power sustains me.
What have I to fear?
He still speaks in the thunder and lightning- and it declares how powerful he is. And in that power he set his heart on us... powerful.
I have confidence in that.
As of now, Uganda is peaceful here. I have not heard much of the North, people rarely converse about it... usually only in small talk. But from what I have heard, Koney (the rebel leader) is back in Southern Sudan and there has been somehow rest in the North due to his absence.
Thank-you again for your continued prayers. I still am drawing much strength knowing that we are standing together as the months out here continue to unfold.
In His Strength,
Brittany
It was a strange feeling that I experienced in those first initial moments taking in the shouts and screams and whistling that signaled Museveni was again president of Uganda. Part of me sank, part of me felt troubled... The Bible says that it is God who appoints leaders and takes them down... nothing is outside of God's hand. Museveni has been elected for a purpose beyond what I can see and I trust that God has appointed this time and leadership for Uganda in his good and perfect wisdom.
Later that night my roommate and I stood under the HUGE Uganda sky in awe as the sky lit up with bright pink and white streaks of lightning... the whole sky would light up and then sink into dark black. The thunder came in in cracks that we could feel... it was amazing.
As we stood there my mind went to the familiar words Psalm 18- abbreviated- that we had prayed for weeks leading up to the election:
"...In my distress I called to the Lord;
I cried to my God for help.
From his temple he heard my voice;
my cry came before him, into his ears...
He parted the heavens and came down;
dark clouds were under his feet.
He mounted the cherubim and flew;
he soared on the wings of the wind.
He made darkness his covering, his
canopy around him-
the dark rain clouds of the sky.
Out of the brightness of his presence
clouds advanced,
with hailstones and bolts of lightning.
The Lord thundered from heaven;
the voice of the Most High
resounded.
He shot his arrows and scattered the
enemies,
great bolts of lightning and routed them...
He reached down from on high and took hold of me,
he drew me out of deep waters.
He rescued me from my powerful enemy,
from my foes, who were too strong for
me...
You give me your shield of victory,
and your right hand sustains me;
you stoop down to make me great...
The Lord lives! Praise be to my Rock!...
Therefore I will praise you among the
nations, O Lord...
he shows unfailing kindness to his
anointed,
to David and his descendants forever."
The God we serve is a great God who is as alive and mighty today as he was when David wrote these powerful words. While I stood under the raging sky with these words pouring from my heart I was captivated by the thought of God coming through the flashing sky, canopy of dark surrounding him, rain clouds at his feet and reaching down to me. Stooping down in all his greatness to hold me. He is intimately aware of my fears, my weaknesses, my enemies... but his awesome power is so much greater than any of these.
He has proven himself victorious and gives me that shield of victory, his hand of power sustains me.
What have I to fear?
He still speaks in the thunder and lightning- and it declares how powerful he is. And in that power he set his heart on us... powerful.
I have confidence in that.
As of now, Uganda is peaceful here. I have not heard much of the North, people rarely converse about it... usually only in small talk. But from what I have heard, Koney (the rebel leader) is back in Southern Sudan and there has been somehow rest in the North due to his absence.
Thank-you again for your continued prayers. I still am drawing much strength knowing that we are standing together as the months out here continue to unfold.
In His Strength,
Brittany
Monday, February 20, 2006
Elections...
I wanted to write to you with a large and important request:
Today is Monday, the 20th and Uganda is in full-scale preparation for the presidential elections on Wenesday, Feb 23rd. Recently there has been no intense increase in violence or threat to peace (minor clashes during campaigning aside) here. My prayer is that this will continue.
The details are not so important (and the time on my computer is running short)- Pres. Museveni and his former primary doctor, Besigye are the opposing front-runners in this election and much criticism has been made about both. Please click into Ugandan News on this site if you are interested in tracing archives or staying current with the campaign/elections.
There is a heavy cloud of anticipation in Uganda as citizens prepare to vote on Wednesday. Opinions are pretty well divided as to who is the better man for the job, etc. And beyond that, thoughts are polarized as to what “might happen if…”
I don’t have the answer… and with all my fascination with and classes in political science I have hardly a strong argument for either man or the outcome that might follow.
But I have a request.
Being out here… with these people my heart has enlarged to love and identify with them. For right now this is my country, these are my people. And as this time of anticipation for these elections builds my heart carries their burden of fear, concern, uncertainty and nervousness. It is too much for me to carry. It is too much for all who read this to carry. The only one that can carry it all is the One who promises he will sustain us if we cast our cares on him (Ps 55:22). IPeter 5:6 says that if we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God he will lift us up in due time… because he cares for us. We can cast our anxiety on him because he cares for us. These are promises I am holding on to.And again and again I am continuing to be sustained as I come before God and ask him to carry my burdens and the burdens of these people.
Paul writes in Galatians that to carry each other’s burdens fulfills the law of Christ. To be burdened by the cries of and worries and anxieties of one another is the law of love. That burden, though, is not to remain on our shoulders. In humility we are to bring it before God in faith that he will take our burden and sustain us.
SO, here is my request.
Will you shoulder their burdens? I am in the thick of it and can tell you that there are many here who are carrying heavy anxiety and worry and uncertainty. Will you intercede on their behalf?
I, with my hut-mates, will be setting this week apart to come before God in behalf of these people. We are praying for Uganda, the elections and the people of this country.
Will you stand with us before God this week to carry the burdens of the Uganda people?
Today is Monday, the 20th and Uganda is in full-scale preparation for the presidential elections on Wenesday, Feb 23rd. Recently there has been no intense increase in violence or threat to peace (minor clashes during campaigning aside) here. My prayer is that this will continue.
The details are not so important (and the time on my computer is running short)- Pres. Museveni and his former primary doctor, Besigye are the opposing front-runners in this election and much criticism has been made about both. Please click into Ugandan News on this site if you are interested in tracing archives or staying current with the campaign/elections.
There is a heavy cloud of anticipation in Uganda as citizens prepare to vote on Wednesday. Opinions are pretty well divided as to who is the better man for the job, etc. And beyond that, thoughts are polarized as to what “might happen if…”
I don’t have the answer… and with all my fascination with and classes in political science I have hardly a strong argument for either man or the outcome that might follow.
But I have a request.
Being out here… with these people my heart has enlarged to love and identify with them. For right now this is my country, these are my people. And as this time of anticipation for these elections builds my heart carries their burden of fear, concern, uncertainty and nervousness. It is too much for me to carry. It is too much for all who read this to carry. The only one that can carry it all is the One who promises he will sustain us if we cast our cares on him (Ps 55:22). IPeter 5:6 says that if we humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God he will lift us up in due time… because he cares for us. We can cast our anxiety on him because he cares for us. These are promises I am holding on to.And again and again I am continuing to be sustained as I come before God and ask him to carry my burdens and the burdens of these people.
Paul writes in Galatians that to carry each other’s burdens fulfills the law of Christ. To be burdened by the cries of and worries and anxieties of one another is the law of love. That burden, though, is not to remain on our shoulders. In humility we are to bring it before God in faith that he will take our burden and sustain us.
SO, here is my request.
Will you shoulder their burdens? I am in the thick of it and can tell you that there are many here who are carrying heavy anxiety and worry and uncertainty. Will you intercede on their behalf?
I, with my hut-mates, will be setting this week apart to come before God in behalf of these people. We are praying for Uganda, the elections and the people of this country.
Will you stand with us before God this week to carry the burdens of the Uganda people?
Monday, February 13, 2006
Fatherhood...
It is a hot Sunday morning in Uganda and I am happy to be taking the time to say hello to you!
I'm not going to lie... there have been some tough days over here. At the beginning of this time I really began to pray constantly that God would use the time here to break and make me for HIS glory. I knew there were things that I was holding on to that I needed to die to. The second week here I was in envisioning- basically like church for eight hours every day- God spoke to me clearly and directly. I saw some of the dark parts of my heart and God just revealed how those pieces of me had affected the way I view and draw near to God.
Earthly fathers have a heavy and fragile role in how they represent the concept of Fatherhood... and a lot of our relationship with them translates into our view of God as Father. I have always struggled with seeing God as Father. I am awed by him as Creator, humbled to him as King of Kings, love and cherish him as Savior, desire him as Spirit... but Father is a tough one for me to long for. I am still praying that God will break me and remake me, specifically in this area.
But man, it has been awesome here!!! There is something about getting beyond your comfort zone that allows you to see what you were so comfortable in anyway. I felt so led to Northern Uganda... physically led to be a missionary here... but now that I am so physically close I feel heavily burdened to pray for the North. The initial leading I felt so strongly to go there physically has really been replaced with the burden to pray for the area and the people. I am reading "Let the Nations be Glad" and Piper just went on a rage about the supremacy of prayer in missions and while reading it I was on fire inside. Before reading that I was reading "The Praying Hyde" about a guy that devoted his life to prayer and really lived in constant prayer- interceding, thanksgiving, mourning... he was passionately committed to God through prayer. Though his example was truly a gift of God it still resonated a longing inside me to ask God to fill me with a passionate and devoted spirit of prayer. I was also reading Bonhoeffer's "Psalms, The Prayer Book of the Bible" and was convicted even again about the power of prayer and the glory God desires through it. So all that to say that I am pressed hard right now to pray. Especially to continually lift the North to God in prayer. My heart and burden for that area has not decreased, rather it is stoked by prayer. But, even more surprisingly, my heart is swelling with prayer and burden for America- specifically the church of America. Getting outside has allowed me to see America differently.
I am asking God that he would send workers into the harvest. To Northern Uganda. To America. I am willing to go if he calls me, wherever it may be... but now I am led to the place of kneeling in prayer and waiting there. He will be faithful to hear and I am trusting that he will call me if it glorifies him. I am willing and waiting. I want God to call me and use me, but I am not going to begin walking until he goes before me. And I know that I would be leading if I began to plan the next step right now.
The kids out here are amazing. We had intake (where we take in new students for the school and adopt new kids into families here at New Hope) and the staff and Institute students (me) got to go up to the front of the assembly where all the little ones were standing and put our arms around them, our hands on them and pray for there new beginning and their "new hope". These kids were taken off the streets, from parents that horridly abused them, from witch doctors, from the pit... they were the ones that no one wanted. And here I got to be a part of picking them up and standing alongside them on a new and solid foundation. After all of New Hope prayed for the new little members we looked each child in the eyes to say, "you are welcome" and just hugged them. WOW. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. By the third or fourth little dirty, barefooted, pot-bellied, scabby child I couldn't look in their eyes anymore. I think I would have broken. What an experience. These fatherless kids that were rejected by so many are, by God's grace, going to have an opportunity to become a child of God. God is able to redeem Fatherhood and Father these fatherless. That's powerful.
I'm not going to lie... there have been some tough days over here. At the beginning of this time I really began to pray constantly that God would use the time here to break and make me for HIS glory. I knew there were things that I was holding on to that I needed to die to. The second week here I was in envisioning- basically like church for eight hours every day- God spoke to me clearly and directly. I saw some of the dark parts of my heart and God just revealed how those pieces of me had affected the way I view and draw near to God.
Earthly fathers have a heavy and fragile role in how they represent the concept of Fatherhood... and a lot of our relationship with them translates into our view of God as Father. I have always struggled with seeing God as Father. I am awed by him as Creator, humbled to him as King of Kings, love and cherish him as Savior, desire him as Spirit... but Father is a tough one for me to long for. I am still praying that God will break me and remake me, specifically in this area.
But man, it has been awesome here!!! There is something about getting beyond your comfort zone that allows you to see what you were so comfortable in anyway. I felt so led to Northern Uganda... physically led to be a missionary here... but now that I am so physically close I feel heavily burdened to pray for the North. The initial leading I felt so strongly to go there physically has really been replaced with the burden to pray for the area and the people. I am reading "Let the Nations be Glad" and Piper just went on a rage about the supremacy of prayer in missions and while reading it I was on fire inside. Before reading that I was reading "The Praying Hyde" about a guy that devoted his life to prayer and really lived in constant prayer- interceding, thanksgiving, mourning... he was passionately committed to God through prayer. Though his example was truly a gift of God it still resonated a longing inside me to ask God to fill me with a passionate and devoted spirit of prayer. I was also reading Bonhoeffer's "Psalms, The Prayer Book of the Bible" and was convicted even again about the power of prayer and the glory God desires through it. So all that to say that I am pressed hard right now to pray. Especially to continually lift the North to God in prayer. My heart and burden for that area has not decreased, rather it is stoked by prayer. But, even more surprisingly, my heart is swelling with prayer and burden for America- specifically the church of America. Getting outside has allowed me to see America differently.
I am asking God that he would send workers into the harvest. To Northern Uganda. To America. I am willing to go if he calls me, wherever it may be... but now I am led to the place of kneeling in prayer and waiting there. He will be faithful to hear and I am trusting that he will call me if it glorifies him. I am willing and waiting. I want God to call me and use me, but I am not going to begin walking until he goes before me. And I know that I would be leading if I began to plan the next step right now.
The kids out here are amazing. We had intake (where we take in new students for the school and adopt new kids into families here at New Hope) and the staff and Institute students (me) got to go up to the front of the assembly where all the little ones were standing and put our arms around them, our hands on them and pray for there new beginning and their "new hope". These kids were taken off the streets, from parents that horridly abused them, from witch doctors, from the pit... they were the ones that no one wanted. And here I got to be a part of picking them up and standing alongside them on a new and solid foundation. After all of New Hope prayed for the new little members we looked each child in the eyes to say, "you are welcome" and just hugged them. WOW. I was so overwhelmed with emotion. By the third or fourth little dirty, barefooted, pot-bellied, scabby child I couldn't look in their eyes anymore. I think I would have broken. What an experience. These fatherless kids that were rejected by so many are, by God's grace, going to have an opportunity to become a child of God. God is able to redeem Fatherhood and Father these fatherless. That's powerful.
Wednesday, February 1, 2006
FRONT LINES...
I spent this afternoon at the home of the head director/pastor of New Hope. It was amazing to listen to this thoughtful and wise man explain in more depth the situation in Northern Uganda. Incredible perspectives that in all my research I had not seen before today. There is such a need for prayer for the church of Northern Uganda... tribal warfare and prideful stubbornness (works of Satan) threaten to allow the atrocities that have been taking place for more than 18 years to continue. The spiritual vein in this mess is at the root of it all. Come humanitarians and adventure seekers and western idealists... you will never reach the place where true redemption and healing resides. At the Cross.
So many have asked me what they can do to help this situation. Let me tell you how exciting it is to confidently say that thousands of miles away the church in America can be the front lines of an offensive attack against the principalities of darkness. Because this physical war in Uganda is sustained by Satan and his demons, we- the body of Christ all over the world- have such an opportunity to be on the front lines in Uganda… and we will prevail against him. The call is now. It is unacceptable for us to shrug our shoulders and sigh that we despair over the situation in Uganda and “just can’t do anything.” We are the ones who hold the answer! The front lines are waiting for us to step up. The church in America can do so much for there sister church here! Prayer is so powerful. God works here in ways that America refuses to allow. He still answers prayers!!!
There is a pretty big reconciliation movement here to begin the work of repentance and forgiveness. New Hope is at the head of this process and has been since sometime around 2004. Of the handful of tribes inextricably tied to all this, there are two tribes that have dug there heals in the ground and are refusing to repent of the blood (literally) on their hands and have stalled the full reconciliation that this place thirsts for. This is where prayer is so needed. Once the tribes have been reconciled to God and through him to one another, Pastor Jay (and I) believe the spiritual darkness here will be confronted with the Light. And here lies the solution to the abductions and slaughters and all the other awful things taking place in Northern Uganda. The answer is the unity of the church against the unity of evil. An unbroken body of Christ. How can we ever expect to stand divided against such darkness? Only in unity of Christ’s blood can this evil be overcome. If the body of Christ would only be reconciled to God and through that be reconciled to one another as one body.
2 COR 5:18ff
“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting men’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation. We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God.”
Please, please, please pray for the tribes here to be reconciled to God and through him to one another. Pray that God would glorify himself here in Uganda. Pray that the leaders of the church here will rise up to lead their people to repentance and forgiveness. This is the answer to the problem. Please pray, tell the family to commit to pray for these divided tribes, ask your friends to pray in Jesus' name for reconciliation, ask your Bible study groups to pray for God to be glorified in Jesus’ name. I can't tell you HOW needed prayer is... and there are so few praying.
Thousands of miles away the front lines are beckoning...
May God be glorified.
Praying with you in Uganda,
Brittany
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
IN AWE...
Jan 16 06 4:30pm
Jambo friends! Uganda is so incredible!!! I am learning a ton more than I expected… actually a lot about our American culture. I am seeing things in such a different light here… getting out has allowed me to see more clearly. I was not set on learning about my culture in Uganda but being here immersed in a new culture that is so different than our own has forced me to identify aspects of America that I had not seen while living in it. And even things about myself are more visible being so far away from “it all”. Five months… and already the breaking has begun.
I have little time to write… the electricity is not so consistent and will be going out pretty soon. So I apologize for the conciseness. There is so much to say!!!
Taking Africa in day-by-day in Uganda is so awesome. There is such beauty in untouched creation. We don’t have so much of that in California. And it causes me to worship God constantly… you can’t go very for without being reminded of the glory of his awesome creation. The sky is HUGE!!! I am convinced it is bigger here. The sunsets are like nothing I have seen before. I have seen some pretty insane sunsets- Tim, Scotty, Adam remember Mt. Whitney? Does not even compare to this place. Grampa, A-Ewt, remember Haleakala in Hawaii? Still does not touch what the sky looks like when it sets in Uganda. It is a new masterpiece every night.
College group family, you were in my thought and prayers this morning before my classes- it was 7am Monday morning here so 8pm Sunday night in CA- sweet to know that thousands of miles away we are still united in spirit as we come to worship at different hours, different days, different countries together. Grace.
Classes have been centered on worldview and learning the African worldview before we begin to work with the orphans. Next week I will be set up with a family that I will continue with through the remainder of my time in Uganda. This place is refining me. I continue to be broken by what is see and learn. I will share more in later updates.
I will continue to be in touch as much as possible. I think of many of you throughout the day here and please know that when I do you are taken before God in prayer.
Please continue to ask God to hold me and guide me. I am very open to what the next step in my life may be. I am not swayed by any dream or plan or specific step other than to continue to seek and follow God… wherever that may be and whatever I may be doing. Also, presidential elections are set for Feb 23 please remember this date and ask for God’s protection here… if you want stay up-to-date with the specifics of the next weeks leading up to the election check the Ugandan news link.
Thank-you so much for all your comments and prayer…it is such an encouragement to know you are continuing with me in this step.
His Mercy is Good.
Jambo friends! Uganda is so incredible!!! I am learning a ton more than I expected… actually a lot about our American culture. I am seeing things in such a different light here… getting out has allowed me to see more clearly. I was not set on learning about my culture in Uganda but being here immersed in a new culture that is so different than our own has forced me to identify aspects of America that I had not seen while living in it. And even things about myself are more visible being so far away from “it all”. Five months… and already the breaking has begun.
I have little time to write… the electricity is not so consistent and will be going out pretty soon. So I apologize for the conciseness. There is so much to say!!!
Taking Africa in day-by-day in Uganda is so awesome. There is such beauty in untouched creation. We don’t have so much of that in California. And it causes me to worship God constantly… you can’t go very for without being reminded of the glory of his awesome creation. The sky is HUGE!!! I am convinced it is bigger here. The sunsets are like nothing I have seen before. I have seen some pretty insane sunsets- Tim, Scotty, Adam remember Mt. Whitney? Does not even compare to this place. Grampa, A-Ewt, remember Haleakala in Hawaii? Still does not touch what the sky looks like when it sets in Uganda. It is a new masterpiece every night.
College group family, you were in my thought and prayers this morning before my classes- it was 7am Monday morning here so 8pm Sunday night in CA- sweet to know that thousands of miles away we are still united in spirit as we come to worship at different hours, different days, different countries together. Grace.
Classes have been centered on worldview and learning the African worldview before we begin to work with the orphans. Next week I will be set up with a family that I will continue with through the remainder of my time in Uganda. This place is refining me. I continue to be broken by what is see and learn. I will share more in later updates.
I will continue to be in touch as much as possible. I think of many of you throughout the day here and please know that when I do you are taken before God in prayer.
Please continue to ask God to hold me and guide me. I am very open to what the next step in my life may be. I am not swayed by any dream or plan or specific step other than to continue to seek and follow God… wherever that may be and whatever I may be doing. Also, presidential elections are set for Feb 23 please remember this date and ask for God’s protection here… if you want stay up-to-date with the specifics of the next weeks leading up to the election check the Ugandan news link.
Thank-you so much for all your comments and prayer…it is such an encouragement to know you are continuing with me in this step.
His Mercy is Good.
Sunday, January 8, 2006
Less than 24 hours...
Less than 24 hours now. Soon I will be flying towards Entebbe, Uganda, prepared (as much as I can be) to spend the next five months in a step of faith outside of my comfort zone. My bags are packed, I have said a lot of goodbyes and now is the final time of reflection that can be so tedious and uncomfortable.
In stark contrast to what I expected I am full of such a solid peace that passes my rational understanding. I reread through Luke a couple weeks ago and was taken by the words of Jesus. His call to leave it all and follow him can seem so daunting and too demanding. But the call to discipleship can be the most incredible step we ever take. It is a place of surrender that rationally does not make sense and so the one called is forced to rely on something or someone greater than human reasoning. I have found myself so many times, as I share with people about my passion for Uganda and decision to go, saying that if God is not real my life does not make sense and is an utter waste. And so I have been challenged to realize really why I am going. For those of you who know me well, I am not naïve- I question things and challenge arguments; I used to love debating… thanks to Tim Cain I only debate now if I really want to understand something that does not make sense to me. And with that drive in me I have questioned why I am doing this.
The answer is so simple. I believe the call of Jesus Christ is the word of God. And so, I believe that this call is to be taken as the truth. We live in a culture where truth is relative and right and wrong blend into one another. But I am convinced that Christ is the truth. So in response to his call I am surrendering my will to his. I am taking this step in confidence that the call of Christ is life. All of the other passions and desires and goals that can make up a lifetime make years spent chasing after them seem like living… but what a true and fulfilling sense of life is found in responding in faith to the call of Christ. I am experiencing that life now as I prepare to leave for Uganda. I could not be doing anything else in the world that would bring me such joy and confidence. This is life. Not because it is Uganda, but because it is obedience to Christ’s call… there is nothing better than this.
I don’t know what these next five months hold. I am excited to be living in the country that has become such a focus of my studies and passion. It will be a whole different world and such a step outside of my comfort zone… and this is the place of breaking and molding and growth. Challenging, but so rewarding. I am stoked.
Thank-you so much for those of you who have continued to pray for my family and me. What an incredible gift your prayers are.
I am looking forward to sharing this experience with you as it all unfolds…
Less than 24 hours…
Psalm 18 (fragmented)
1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold.
30 As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
49 Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.
In stark contrast to what I expected I am full of such a solid peace that passes my rational understanding. I reread through Luke a couple weeks ago and was taken by the words of Jesus. His call to leave it all and follow him can seem so daunting and too demanding. But the call to discipleship can be the most incredible step we ever take. It is a place of surrender that rationally does not make sense and so the one called is forced to rely on something or someone greater than human reasoning. I have found myself so many times, as I share with people about my passion for Uganda and decision to go, saying that if God is not real my life does not make sense and is an utter waste. And so I have been challenged to realize really why I am going. For those of you who know me well, I am not naïve- I question things and challenge arguments; I used to love debating… thanks to Tim Cain I only debate now if I really want to understand something that does not make sense to me. And with that drive in me I have questioned why I am doing this.
The answer is so simple. I believe the call of Jesus Christ is the word of God. And so, I believe that this call is to be taken as the truth. We live in a culture where truth is relative and right and wrong blend into one another. But I am convinced that Christ is the truth. So in response to his call I am surrendering my will to his. I am taking this step in confidence that the call of Christ is life. All of the other passions and desires and goals that can make up a lifetime make years spent chasing after them seem like living… but what a true and fulfilling sense of life is found in responding in faith to the call of Christ. I am experiencing that life now as I prepare to leave for Uganda. I could not be doing anything else in the world that would bring me such joy and confidence. This is life. Not because it is Uganda, but because it is obedience to Christ’s call… there is nothing better than this.
I don’t know what these next five months hold. I am excited to be living in the country that has become such a focus of my studies and passion. It will be a whole different world and such a step outside of my comfort zone… and this is the place of breaking and molding and growth. Challenging, but so rewarding. I am stoked.
Thank-you so much for those of you who have continued to pray for my family and me. What an incredible gift your prayers are.
I am looking forward to sharing this experience with you as it all unfolds…
Less than 24 hours…
Psalm 18 (fragmented)
1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;
my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the strength of my salvation, my stronghold.
30 As for God, his way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is flawless.
He is a shield
for all who take refuge in him.
31 For who is God besides the LORD ?
And who is the Rock except our God?
32 It is God who arms me with strength
and makes my way perfect.
33 He makes my feet like the feet of a deer;
he enables me to stand on the heights.
49 Therefore I will praise you among the nations, O LORD;
I will sing praises to your name.
Monday, January 2, 2006
Convicted...
"It's a strange feeling to be so completely dependent on other people; but at least it teaches one to be grateful, and I hope I shall never forget that. In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more then we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich. It's very easy to overestimate the importance of our own acheivements in comparison with what we owe others."
-Dietrich Bonhoeffer, LETTERS AND PAPERS FROM PRISON
Sunday, January 1, 2006
How it all happened...
In November of 2004 I saw the documentary Invisible Children and my heart was broken. Invisible Children exposed the story of children in Uganda who commute each night from their homes in the bush villages to the city of Gulu to escape abduction by the LRA (a terrorist organization that instills fear through brutal child abductions). This documentary opened my eyes to a world I never knew existed.
Up until that point I had been considering a career in the media as a host or broadcast journalist. With my focus on a high-rise office in New York City, I was completely unprepared for the images that I saw on that screen. I saw emaciated children, their eyes full of pain and fear as they huddled together in the thousands. I heard them crying for parents they had lost, a sibling murdered before their eyes; a pain one little boy said, “my heart beats to.” There was no one to comfort them. These images shattered my previous dreams and tied my heart inextricably to the fate of these Ugandan children.
Since that life changing night nearly one year ago the burden of my heart has been the children of Uganda. I have researched the history of Uganda- the specifics of the war crisis, AIDS, and the heavy effects on these children. I have met with the director of Invisible Children, visited with missionaries from Uganda, attended lectures of African and Ugandan natives.... Through it all, I have asked God to direct my passion for the orphaned children of Uganda according to His purpose.
A few months ago I was given a unique opportunity to apply for an institute in Uganda that is built on the mission statement “bringing the Fatherhood of God to the fatherless.” After considering and surrendering to God the costs of leaving my family, friends, comfort zone, and America to live with orphans in Uganda for six months, I applied. In September I was accepted.
I will leave from LA January 9, 2006 and fly into Uganda, Africa. There I will attend the New Hope Institute while living and working with orphans. The lessons in the five months of classes and every-day life will be centered on Biblical principles of caring for and raising children- specifically the Ugandan orphans.
I cannot impress upon you how excited I am about this step in my life. This is a total surrender of previous dreams and hopes and plans for the sake of hearing and following the call of Christ in my life now. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” James 1:27.
I am definitely in need of prayer support! These are my major requests now:
1. That God will strengthen my family during this time and will bring us closer together in Christ. I love my siblings and parents so much and am going to miss them a ton!
2. Travel safety.
3. That the upcoming elections in Uganda will be a continued step toward democracy and the voice of the people. That God’s will be done in this country.
4. For the children, that these precious little ones will be spared of AIDS, protected from the LRA, and may find true comfort in the arms of our merciful God.
5. For my heart to be completely given over to God, that His will may be manifest in my life and that this experience will help guide and direct future plans.
Thank you so much for your prayers. It means so much to know I have friends and family back home taking this step of faith with me. Together may we may attempt to live out Isaiah 58:10, “If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted soul, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”
Up until that point I had been considering a career in the media as a host or broadcast journalist. With my focus on a high-rise office in New York City, I was completely unprepared for the images that I saw on that screen. I saw emaciated children, their eyes full of pain and fear as they huddled together in the thousands. I heard them crying for parents they had lost, a sibling murdered before their eyes; a pain one little boy said, “my heart beats to.” There was no one to comfort them. These images shattered my previous dreams and tied my heart inextricably to the fate of these Ugandan children.
Since that life changing night nearly one year ago the burden of my heart has been the children of Uganda. I have researched the history of Uganda- the specifics of the war crisis, AIDS, and the heavy effects on these children. I have met with the director of Invisible Children, visited with missionaries from Uganda, attended lectures of African and Ugandan natives.... Through it all, I have asked God to direct my passion for the orphaned children of Uganda according to His purpose.
A few months ago I was given a unique opportunity to apply for an institute in Uganda that is built on the mission statement “bringing the Fatherhood of God to the fatherless.” After considering and surrendering to God the costs of leaving my family, friends, comfort zone, and America to live with orphans in Uganda for six months, I applied. In September I was accepted.
I will leave from LA January 9, 2006 and fly into Uganda, Africa. There I will attend the New Hope Institute while living and working with orphans. The lessons in the five months of classes and every-day life will be centered on Biblical principles of caring for and raising children- specifically the Ugandan orphans.
I cannot impress upon you how excited I am about this step in my life. This is a total surrender of previous dreams and hopes and plans for the sake of hearing and following the call of Christ in my life now. “Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress…” James 1:27.
I am definitely in need of prayer support! These are my major requests now:
1. That God will strengthen my family during this time and will bring us closer together in Christ. I love my siblings and parents so much and am going to miss them a ton!
2. Travel safety.
3. That the upcoming elections in Uganda will be a continued step toward democracy and the voice of the people. That God’s will be done in this country.
4. For the children, that these precious little ones will be spared of AIDS, protected from the LRA, and may find true comfort in the arms of our merciful God.
5. For my heart to be completely given over to God, that His will may be manifest in my life and that this experience will help guide and direct future plans.
Thank you so much for your prayers. It means so much to know I have friends and family back home taking this step of faith with me. Together may we may attempt to live out Isaiah 58:10, “If you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the afflicted soul, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.”
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